hard stuff.

I had recently put myself in a most precarious position. Or did I? I can't claim that I have any control over how the wheels will turn. All I know is that my reality was shaken and it forced me to make a hard decision. But God puts us in "hard positions" for a reason. And good reasons at that. We can never really say a seemingly "bad" situation at present is really, well, bad. Because how many times has its effects rippled into the future and ultimately produced a "good" effect? I certainly have testimony of that. I think back on my life and question: "what if God granted me everything I ever asked for?" My life would not be the life I'm living right now. Actually, it would be awful. My unanswered prayers were for the best and we only realize it in retrospect.

God moved in me to make the decision that I made for a reason. It was due time, really. And though it pains me to see that the result of it hurt someone close to me, I have to trust that it is ultimately for the best for both of us. Naturally I want to be a friend, I want to comfort, I want to say that "it will all be ok," but that is no longer my place. And in such situations, no matter how much you consider the emotions of the other, no matter how much tact and sensitivity you try to utilize when approaching it, it is always going to be messy. It goes with the territory.

And this is why faith is so important. It is what gives me hope. I trust that a power greater and wiser than myself is guiding me through it all. And if I am listening to Him and truly understand what I must do, then I know it will be alright in the end. Often times (or is it every time?) doing the right thing is the hardest to do; making the right decision is the hardest decision of all. And I definitely had to make a hard decision. So I know it was the right one.