It is hard to really put to words where I am right now. I am in this place. Well, not even a place. I am in transit. I am moving. We forget that life is a journey. It is a journey with winding roads, high peaks and low valleys. I suppose I have been standing still, really. I became stagnant and grew stale. I haven't been moving forward. But God knows my troubles, my thoughts, my dreams, my passions. And He has shaken the ground beneath me, forcing me to move forward. He has been setting something in motion for me.
The past couple of days I once again realized how big God is. We use analogies like "Father" to help us grasp what and who He is. But we can't truly comprehend His grandeur. He is mysterious. I do believe that he does want us to know Him. But because He is so big, our human minds cannot possibly grasp him mentally. So we have to seek Him, trust Him, and have faith in Him. What our minds cannot do, He gives us so much to compensate. Because the point is not to one day fully understand him. It is to always seek him. Always question even if there is no answer.
So here I am. In wonder of Him once more. He has stirred something in me and pushing me forward. To where? But he sustains my heart and soul. I am scared because I don't know what the outcome is. But yet, I also feel joy. I have faith and hope that what is to come is for the best. I have let go and learned to trust.
I am learning not to be anxious.
Reading Suite Française by Irène Némirovsky
Listening to "Field Below" by Regina Spektor
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